#Lore24 – Entry #251 – Fantasy Month III #8 – A Wilderness Misadventure

As Told by Siduri Tamboura, Warrior for Hire

“You call this food?  It’s hog slop at best, and that’s being generous.  Thought you wanted details?  You’re not being very inviting.  I told you, you want the dirt, you’re going to have to offer something in return.  I don’t work for free unless I get to take it out of someone’s ass!  You heard me right, just like I was doing with Eri and Hatae and that box.  What, not into the hard kind of love?  Heh, whatever.

Fine, I’ll consider this worth a little more detail, but unless you start coughing up some real food, you’ll get nothing else from me.  You want to know about our little jaunt through the Canorath Wood?  It was a comedy of errors.  Oh, that first day went fine enough, aside from miss champion of Erisaya recounting her previous adventures along the way.  Problem with elves is that they talk too damn much about their too damn long lives!  That’s one reason I really enjoy it when I get to play rough with them, you see. 

Well, it turned to shit on the second day.  Now, Eri would swear the woods had changed after a certain point, old paths were missing, even some old church or something wasn’t where she thought it was, whatever, but my opinion is she was just lost and didn’t want to fess up for it.  You know how elves are, haughty bastards.  I’d make sure she paid up for that mistake later, but we stuck to our westward course as best we could and pushed through some rough terrain, making for the high ground so we could see where it was we were going.  Wound up going right through a damn giant spider’s nest, and after that fiasco, we wound up stumbling into a den of kobolds.  Less said about those little bastards the better.  Took us a couple tries, but we managed to escape and left them with a good bloody mess for the survivors.

Wound up stumbling into some more friendly territory a couple days later, some druid circle or whatever deep in the woods.  The fact that they didn’t attack us on sight was refreshing.  But, that’s all you’re getting out of me.  Come back with better food or offer up that ass of yours so I can work off my frustrations and we’ll talk more.  Fine, run off then, little man!  You aren’t worthy of me anyway!”